Some achievements cannot be hidden. Where do you hide after
winning the Nobel Prize? The same applies for natural endowments such as facial
beauty. Does a beauty queen walk around in a mask so as not to make others feel
less insecure? Achievements draw favourable attention especially in the
newspapers and social media. Winning an Oscar is a sure way to gain that kind
of instant attention. Unfortunately these big awards are for a microscopic
minority despite many people craving attention. The bridge between the
attention seekers and attention is usually constructed on the back of good old
fashioned boasting. Through boasting people find that they can achieve
attention without concrete achievements. For those not given to talking, big
watches or cars are able spokesmen.
There is a parable about empty vessels producing the loudest
noise. The Forbes rich list is full of people who record no rap records
boasting of their wealth. Strange how the major share holders in a luxury
brands stay silent while rappers who
buys just one unit of product raps about
it while swinging from the Eiffel Tower. Billionaires tend to stay silent. I
suppose they are just too rich to boast about it. On the other hand a few with
good credit do go on about what they are wearing and how they are living till
you begin to wonder why.
The bottom line is that if you are at peace in your own skin,
the boasting stops. The shark would not brag about swimming styles in the sea.
If hungry and you are around, you would soon know about the shark swag. There is really no need for the Cheetah to
boast about speed or the lion to boast about strength. These attributes are
obvious. These animals wake up and be themselves with aplomb leaving the
zoologists to do the talking. That means
that if I see you coming and you need to tell me you are special, despite my
eyes being in perfect working order, there must be something wrong.
Boast perception disorder
Sometimes someone is might just be expressing how they feel
and the eavesdroppers diagnose boasting in error. ‘I prefer Emirates first
class service to Arik’ says a frequent traveller and some thinks to himself, ‘Hmm.
Show off’.
Another says, ‘I prefer MacDonald’s French fries to Burger
King’s’ and the eavesdroppers diagnose preference. Everybody has choice,
preferences, likes and dislikes. However, expressing them might incur the wrath
of the accusers of the brethren. Is the solution to never express likes and
dislikes? Perhaps sensitivity is needful. Next time you want to exalt the
quality of Jimmy Choo’s autumn collection look around at the faces of your
audience to see if they have eaten that week to avoid being cursed.
A one in a life time experience causes a lot of excitement
to rage through an individual. Soon he is looking for someone to tell the story
to. We all know that excited people repeat themselves. He goes on and on till
the audience begins to either get swept away in joy or grumble about the noise.
(‘We no go hear word again o! Na him first buy Bentley for Lagos?’)
Real Boasting
Definition- speak too much in praise of oneself, one’s
possessions etc. Collin Dictionary. 1995. (To speaking I would add publishing
pictures on social media)
The boasters fall into two categories-
- The entertaining boasters.
Some people go out to a nice restaurant and come back with tales so long
you wish you were there. They keep you glued to your seats with exaggerated
accounts of exquisite cuisine that cost a King’s ransom. While he name
drops the stars that happened to be eating at the same time, he never
forgets to add the cost of the meal and the size of the tip. Everyone is a
winner. You have been entertained and he has had his ego flexed.
- The tedious boasters.
These are people who add no value to your quest for amusement. They tell
your plainly that their watch cost £50,000. The need to drop that into the
conversation is so desperate that they cannot even wait for the right opportunity
to slot in their boast. You might have been talking about a certain
premiership striker and they suddenly say, ‘he wore a watch like mine in
one of his interviews’. In your
mind, you think, ‘Ehen, so what?’ These are the sad cases. Trying to
compensation for the past shame bestowed on them by penury with their
shining new glad rags and ornaments. All they need is a comforting
shoulder to cry on and a kind reminder that ‘we love you just the way you
are’. Were we not who we were
before the designer must have item hit the stores?
Sometimes these individuals are
truly gifted and hardworking but just don’t get the acclaim they think they
deserve because people don’t take them into their hearts. It might be that
their time for acclaim has not yet come or perhaps they are not blessed with
charisma. These people are baffled with how other less gifted people seem able
to grab the lime light with minimum effort. They thus make it their life’s
mission to convince people that they are the one’s truly deserving of fame and
attention. The road to boasting starts here. Unfortunately life does no work
like that. Charisma is not a debate. You either have it or you don’t. Elvis had it and he did not need to boast
about it. The same goes for Albert Einstein.
Concealing achievements
It is dangerous to hang around people who never like to
speak about your achievements and good qualities. People who never tell you
anything good about yourself because they kindly never what your head to get
too big. (Who made them Phrenologist over you?). You soon learn to be ‘humble’
and to permanently stay put ‘in your place’. A place conceived by others. After
a few years of such an existence you would be one of those who at work
interviews are unable to talk about your strong points for you fear to appear
conceited.
Actively minimising or concealing achievements is not
humility. On the other hand it might be cowardice for the fear of people and
their petty envies should not determine whether or not you go with your Aston
Martin or Toyota to the ball.
Babawilly
Dr Wilson Orhiunu
4-09-2014
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