Cannot do, would not do

Can Do? Yes we can!

We all have a close relationship with those things we cannot do. They are talked about all the time just like a favourite child. One lady, on hearing me talk about doing a half marathon gave me a five minute talk on why she couldn’t do a long race. She talked as if I had invited her on a race date.

I too love to be entertained by the unattainable, those things I cannot and would not do. Jumping off burning aeroplanes and detonating nuclear missiles are way above my league but hey!, there is James Bond. Body building contests and probably most of the Olympic Games are opportunities to gaze and be amazed with the fitness and physiques of talented and dedicated individuals. And this is an opportunity the whole world never passes up on.

 On the other hand, we are never enraptured by the things we can do, or those skills that we feel are easily attainable with a bit of practice. The unattainable can even rise to become the subject of fantasy and obsession. Reality TV shows where wealth is flaunted serves as an outlet for the millions who feel that a certain lifestyle is simply out of reach in this life time. They look on and wish, until they sigh and saying to themselves ‘if only’.

Apart from the things that are desirable and out of reach, there are the things which are abhorred and deemed beneath ‘civilised people’. These are the behaviours and attitudes which those who inhabit the lofty moral altitudes deem to be contemptible. Day time TV is all about dysfunctional people expressing their pathologies in public.  Many people get the chance to ask ‘have they no shame?’ as they stay glued to the TV. Well, if you would not have eight children by eight baby-mamas, why watch a programme about someone who will? One colleague once told me he likes to know what our taxes pay for by why of social benefits for the idle.

Most of what people spend their time on (either in the thinking or the doing) can be divided into these three groups – what they feel can be done, what they feel cannot be done and what should never be done even if an opportunity arises for it to be  done.

  The Can do zone

These are activities and tasks that are seen as possible. Those around you determine what you think you can do most of the time.  Mr A the nocturnal professional armed robber who relaxes at a sports bar all day, would find it difficult to hang around Mr B who works as a teacher all day and relaxes by spending time with his children most evenings. At the start of each day, everyone has a vision of what they can do that day and there are so many variations on this theme. Hence the adage, one man’s beef is another man’s poison. While some say ‘who can I rob today?’ others say ‘who can I teach today?’

So, what percentage of our waking hours should be spent in the ‘I Can’ zone? This would be doing and achieving things we know are possible. One hundred percent would be a good answer but entertainment takes time.

The cannot do zone

Have you ever meet anyone who told you that they cannot do most things save breathing and sweating when it is hot? They cannot do things within their grasps how much more attempting things that may fail.  Talking to people like this will demonstrate how diligent they are in making mental trips looking for pitfalls. Business is fraught with con men. The government is out to get us all. New cars only draw unnecessary attention. Foreign holidays may end up in accidents. Their list is endless. They have done the research and concluded that they cannot so no one else should. They spent all their time in the cannot zone.

The wouldn’t do that zone

We were watching a James Bond movie (cannot remember which) and he shot somebody dead and stared at the corpse for a few seconds before coming up which a wise crack, adjusting his tie and moving on. ‘This guy is a psychopath, no remorse whatsoever. I couldn’t ever do that’ I heard myself think. That didn’t stop me from watching every single Bond film – twice this year alone.  There is a fascination with murderers, psychopaths, sociopaths and evil people that makes us spend time watching them. High profile murder cases tend to prove popular among people who struggle to kill a fly.  

Yes we Can

Nelson Mandela was quoted as saying ‘It always seems impossible until it is done’. And Barrack Obama is famous for the slogan,’ Yes we can’.

To these two great men I add the Adiddas slogan, ‘Impossible is nothing’ and for good measure Nike’s slogan , ‘Just do it’.

The things we know we can do, we should do. (So go brush your teeth and wear clean clothes).

The things we know we cannot do may

1. Never be possible. But how can we be sure?
2.  Never be possible but we could try anyway ie  Get Rich or die trying (50 cent).
3.  Not be possible in this generation but we start trying so that the next generation starts a head start.
4. Be possible at a later date with developments in technology.

In summary, we can do all things

The things we say we cannot do today may be possible in the future if an enabling environment is achieved.

And the things we cannot do??

Well, entertainment is all about what we cannot and would not do, so let’s keep on watching Spiderman, Batman and Superman as rewards for long hard days of working to make the impossible possible. Yes we can.

Dr Wilson Orhiunu

Babawilly

28-10-2014

Each man an Island

Tuesday Article; quod erat demonstrandum


http://qed.ng/?p=3263#sthash.ginQXBw3.yqQF54j2.dpbs

London Marathon. (Blast from the past)

http://www.nigeriansinamerica.com/articles/1721/1/London-Marathon/Page1.html

What's up with the running Doc?

This is the latest of my weekly Tuesday articles with QED.Ng

As I prepare for the Birmingham Half Marathon on 19-10-2014 I will try here to answer the most frequently asked questions I get about running.

1. Why run?
2. What is chasing you?
3. How long is the distance?
4. Will you finish the race?
5. Why run to raise money for charity? Why don’t you just make a donation?

Why run?

It seems inbuilt in man to run. Kids all run both indoors and outdoors. As they grow older they finally get convinced by adults to walk and some will never run again; hence the obesity crisis. Running is important for escaping danger and our bodies are built for running.

There are many health benefits to obtain from running so it is actually surprising that anyone asks, ‘why run?’ No one asks ‘why eat?’ or ‘why sleep?’ Perhaps the benefits of this form of exercise are eclipsed in peoples’ minds by the supposedly difficulties involved in running.

People usually will avoid hardship whenever possible, so seeing someone willingly walk into hardship makes them wonder why. I do the same whenever I read about those marathon runners who race in the Sahara desert (Are there no graves in London that they travel to the Sahara to die? I think to myself).

The inconveniences of running are –

Breathlessness

People hate the state of breathlessness and would do anything to avoid it for this state is the closest one can get to what it feels like to be dying.  A pounding chest, aching muscles and a sweaty body compounds the displeasure.

Missing out on fun stuff

Running is best done at fixed times. This can mean sacrificing pleasurable activities. Short term gratification is sacrificed for long term gain by indulging in an immediate discomfort. Not very appealing!

Braving extremes of temperature

The heat of summer and the cold of winter naturally make people to seek comfort.  Rain, snow and cold winds produces an urge to stay indoors tucked under a duvet with a cup of warm beverage for company. Leaving the warmth of a comfortable room for the cold rain is counter intuitive.

Losing time

There is usually a lot to do during the day. Running may take up to an hour and that time needs to be found bearing in mind the domestic demands placed on members of families.

Tiredness

At the end of a busy day in the office, people are tired. Why risk increasing the unpleasantness of fatigue by running up the exhaustion bill?

Shame

People have told me they would ‘look silly’ running down the street on account of their numerous wobbly body parts.

Risky roads

Tripping on uneven pavements, being hit by oncoming traffic, being mugged, being attacked by dogs startled when you run round a corner, being caught up and lynched due to mistaken identity when you run into a thief being chased by a mob shouting ‘ole, ole,ole!!’ because you unfortunately are wearing the same colours as the thief  (LOL; Lagos out loud)

What is chasing you? (Wetin dey pursue yu sef?)

This question is mainly from the Nigerian quarters.  It is born out of the proverb that goes thus – the toad running in the day time is either fleeing from a threat or pursuing something lucrative. My answer is that I am fleeing obesity and pursuing fitness

How long is the distance?

A marathon is 26.2 miles long and a Half marathon is 13.1 miles long. D’banj’s maxim- No long thing- does not apply here.

Will you finish the race?

By the grace of God (I am a Nigerian thus there is God in everything we do)

Why race money for charity?

I wondered about this myself when I first came to the UK till I learn how it works here. My formative years were spent in Nigeria where charitable acts were financed through fund raising initiatives where would-be donors gave if they felt the cause was worthy of their money.

The concept of giving because of the difficult of the task to be endured is worthy of your money is how it is done in the UK.  So people run long distances, climb mountains or swim across rivers and ask friends and family to sponsor them with all proceeds going to a designated charity. England’s premier marathon, the Virgin London marathon raises thousands of pounds for UK charities as most of the non- elite participants run to raise money

Marathons

Participants are divided into the Elites and non-elites or fun runners. The Elites (also referred to as Kenyans and Ethiopians) start at the front and are usually the professionals. The fun runners who consist of the serious fun runners who are members of running clubs and the real fun runners who are more interested in taking part, enjoying the day and raising money. Real fun runners would be the ones with the fancy costumes and the ones who smile and wave at the watching crowd.

Personally persona Personally

I personally run Half Marathons as they provide incentive to run throughout the year. Once you register for a race, you know that you will suffer on race day if you do not train. This training is done according to a schedule and not according to the weather or how your feel.

I run with my I-pod and select whatever Ted lectures, music or preaching tapes I need to listen to before leaving the house. If it rains, then I pat myself on the back for battling the elements.

I cope with the breathlessness and muscle pain by telling myself that – no pain, no gain, short term inconvenience for long term health and fitness, short term story, long term glory.

I am one who needs to meditate and pray daily and I fall asleep if I try to do this sitting in a corner. I must keep moving, so in running I kill two to five stones with one bird.

This year I would be raising money for the Home of God’s Grace Orphanage in Ikorodu. Please e-mail me for details if you wish to make a donation.

Creative Fearing

The dread of the present or the future; immediate or distant is what fear is all about. With the exclusion of those imposters who say they are afraid when they are not, most people who claim to fear or act as if they fear, have honest claims. The false ones are the ones who say, ‘I am afraid this relationship must come to an end. It is nothing to do with you. It is me’ or ‘I am afraid we would not be granting you a Visa to the United Kingdom on this occasion’. These false fear proclaimers lack something else beyond the absence of integrity. They lack sweat, for how can you really be afraid without sweating?

Fear has its important uses. Snake crawls into a room, fear spreads like a juicy rumour, everybody reacts like Usain Bolt and the room is promptly vacated. The adrenaline rush helps in times of emergency. It is also useful when an important event is coming up. Not sleeping, brain storming and researching, working hard and aiming for perfection ensures no stone is left unturned in preparations. It is usually better to arrive at this said event over prepared than under prepared. Take a country that fears public ridicule in a world cup year. They plan everything for fear of losing their jobs and respect if things go wrong under the watchful eyes of the international press. They plan their team’s diet, pay their players and coaching staff, book their hotels etc. and when the event comes along, their over planning pays dividends for they will not argue over players’ payments just before matches kick-off. The fear of shame is important for individuals, professionals and countries. Unfortunately some countries fear no shame.

For all the virtues of fear however, it tends to produce more harm than good in the life of people. While it is acceptable to feel a bit edgy with impending examinations, public speaking engagements or job interviews, there are many who fear when there is absolutely nothing to fear. These are the people who create reasons to fear daily and remain faithful to their commitment to being afraid all day long. To these people, should an important event rear its head, they are thrown into a full blown panic.

Creative fearing, like all creative activities involve the dreaming up of wondrous possibilities when nothing in the present suggests their remote existence. Like inventors in search of the next big thing that question ‘what if?’ is followed by ‘why not?’ in the minds of these’ creatives’. Inspiration comes from everyday occurrences and what better pool of information for them than the news. There is hardly any news bulletin that does not report the death of at least two people somewhere in the world. ‘If it happened to them, it could happen to me’ is a reasonable conclusion to reach at the end of the news. Over the years, every accident and mishap that might occur during every activity under the heavens is stored in their minds ready to be recalled at the drop of a hat. Plane, trains and automobiles do crash as does the stock market, relationships end, property gets stolen, drinks get poisoned, friends turn enemies, businesses collapse as do buildings, relatives die, epidemics spring up, public funds are embezzled and conspiracies abound everywhere; the list is endless.  Musicians usually say the person with the biggest record collection has a better chance of coming up with new music. The same applies to fear. To do it creatively, the mind must store thousands of adverse outcomes so that they are effortlessly applied to any new scenario that might spring up. Practice then makes perfect and ingenuity starts to manifest over time. I once had a patient who was riddled with fear about Birmingham (located in the middle of England and furthest from the sea in any direction) being hit by a Tsunami.  One would expect coastal towns to worry about such. That is creativity for you. The mind is capable of conjuring up any eventuality no matter how unrealistic. Is that not why we watch movies; to view beautiful actors entertain us with the unrealistic and absurd all set to nice music emanating from brilliant minds?

The television and news is not enough though. Creative people need a circle of friends. I am sure most people would have noticed how the very good musicians hang out together as do the top sportsmen. This is what the late Napoleon Hill called the Master Mind group. To really excel in any field from the noble to the criminal you need the support of a group. They serve to reinforce your beliefs and give you inspiration to strive on to excellence. The fearful who wish to remain so will not hang out with the positive mental attitude ‘freaks’ who read autobiographies of people with courage and positive outcomes all day long. The fearful do not read such books. Horror movies, dramas that linger forever, day time talk shows with guests that do not inspire are the staple diet of those who fear. They desperately want to see people who confirm to them what they fear; that life is unfair, life is tough and bad things happen so what is the point in striving for anything different? These day time shows will always have someone lying about affairs, paternity or drug use. The lie detector is always star of the show. A group of people who watch these programmes will remain paranoid, unadventurous (as adventurers die) and ultimately depressed.

The final nail in the coffin of the fearful is what separates the infant creative from the sages of this petrified lifestyle. One does not become a master in a field by being diligently intentional in applying ones abilities alone. True greatness comes through the vehicle of premonition. Knowing for sure that doom is at hand and getting doom hours before the expected date of arrival. Few attain to this level and this class of people are a sight to behold. You will be scared having them around to your house because appliances will erupt in flames and all they would do is smile knowingly, stroke their beards or hair extensions and say quietly, ‘I knew it’. They fear every activity will go wrong and like an industrial magnet they attract very bad thing.

Now, what is the solution to creative fearing?

1. Ditch your Master Mind group; change your phone number and move house if necessary.
2. Stop watching the TV for two months and undergo a negative news feed detox
3. Stop clicking on links on the web promising beheadings by Jihadist or wild animals eating human beings.
4. Never talk about what you fear

Dr Wilson Orhiunu

Babawilly

6-10-2014