Wednesday 18 May 2016

The Glutton's Visit



Happy at departure
Though hungry at arrival
The pot’s so so empty
Poor  host is suicidal


Please visit no more!
Hospitality annulment!
Poverty on the horizon
He ate down to my last cent


Inviting an elephant disguised as a gazelle?
My hands hold the mountainous blame
He shovelled salt on every morsel
Chewing at speed with no hint of shame


More than food
He ate our joy
Perpetually famished
He nibbled at our dreams


There was no grace in his belches
He criticised all the plans that we told him
I rejoiced to see that guest go
Family now hungry, angry, sad and slim



Dr Wilson Orhiunu
Babawilly

18/5/16

Wednesday 11 May 2016

Stealing

Stealing

10 March 2014 at 12:29
Asking people to define stealing is no different from asking them all to pose on quick sand for a group photograph. Everyone is reluctant to respond and when they eventually do, they sink into a self- contradicting mode. For some, what is left behind after the ‘acquisition’ determines if a theft has occurred. For instance in a warehouse containing two million mangoes, the worker who pockets five for the kids has not stolen. What he took will barely be missed. This logic is applied to unlawfully ‘taking’ from rich individuals, corporations and governments. If di change plenti  den mek poor man chop im own. Notin spoil. Hence illegal down loading of movies and music is alright because they (the corporations) are making billions anyway. Pirate copies abound of any product you can think of. The pirates feel they are making cheaper products available to the masses and the masses love cheaper products. Let di big men dem buy dia originals.
Surely this is wrong for we all know what stealing is. People everywhere will give a definition fit for the occasion but their attitudes betray them. For some ‘taking’ it before someone else is being sharp. It was destined to go anyway, so no burden of conscience there. Dat is the auditory anaesthetic statement applied liberally in Naija. Everybody dey chop, so yu too chop up and neva   dull up. Finally, what the ‘taker’ does with what has been taken affects how some define his actions. If some of the gains are repatriated into sections of the community, then the individual becomes a proud son of the soil and his people will not call him a thief but a hero.  He buys the local monarch a big car, ‘settles’ the area boys, buys a chieftaincy title and all is well.  Di man don try for us well well o.
Stealing is a crime and crime does not pay. It is a Trillion Dollar industry that does not pay? Peoples in every country are stealing daily and justifying themselves.  Only one per cent of the population will steal from people intentionally (as opposed to opportunistically)with the use of violence but when an opportunity arises with little risk of being caught, such as money lying in a wallet on the floor, 60-80% will pocket the cash. If stealing is given another name, then the number could raise as high as 90%. Using office supplies and telephone lines for personal use is stealing but many don’t think so.
Before striking, people do a quick costs -benefit analysis in which they compare the risks of being caught and the nature of punitive actions that might be meted out versus the pleasure they would derive from satisfying their greed or yielding to temptation.  Where institutions make stealing easy, then people steal. Such institutions have an unwritten code by which business is done. All stalk holders are ‘settled’ and you keep what you have ‘taken’. A pre-emptive Kola-nut can be served to local powers that be to make sure that the law is not enforced on an unwilling citizen.  People respect institutions and role models. If these institutions turn a blind retina in the face of stealing then the thief is en powered to carry on with his illegal tendencies. It is my humble opinion that nobody is born a thief and even though harsh societal pressures i.e. penury or intense ambition can make some individuals take what is lawfully not theirs by way of purchase or inheritance, it is the institutions of family, community, law enforcement agencies and law courts that shape the individual in his formation.  They all affect the calculations of his personal risk benefit ratio i.e. to steal or not to steal. So much has been written about Naija’s stolen government money. How it has hampered development and denied a generation the infrastructure needed to thrive. If society stops lauding people who have stolen government money and if the police becomes effective in arresting fraud suspects, then that will bring a change to how people look at stealing. For instance, a man on a monthly salary of N500K a should be embarrassed to pose with a car worth millions in front of his mansion in a glossy magazine especially when he has no other means of livelihood save his salary. If community leaders steal and flaunt the proceeds in the full view of the next generation, then the future becomes dark.
Make what you may of this but Fela’s song- Authority Stealing (1980) insinuated that it was wrong to use the position of power accorded by a white collared job or high powered political post to steal funds. Authority stealing pass armed robbery.
In recent times we have heard songs like Yahozee, Maga don pay and I go chop your dollar, all obtuse references to advance fee fraud perpetrated via the internet. If music is a barometer of public sensibilities, then one could assert that the era of the beautification of area boy and area thief is really upon us.
Seems everyone complains about politicians stealing money and natural resources in Africa (yes o. Not just cash but crude oil, gold , diamonds and even yams have all been stolen from mother earth), yet we laugh when we are blood relatives of these same thieves. Sontin muss touch mai hand. In the same vein, any relative with an opportunity to chop, who doesn’t on account of moral principles becomes the village fool. Principles count for nothing when cash is involved. See yua chance and take am.
A friend complained to me about problems he was having at work. He was driving down one of Lagos streets, not the best place to hear someone whinge as traffic was moving like pregnant snails. The brand new Range Rover with its soft leather comforts that looked like an air-conditioned heaven on the inside and purgatory on the outside helped to focus my mind as we drove through a traffic situation best described as Hell. ‘That man does not want to ‘play ball’. We will deal with him o!’ said my friend. He spoke about a colleague refusing to inflate a contract so that all the boys can see sontin chop. Looking at my friend, you would not believe he was the mass servant with the angelic voice of our childhood. He had made his name in field of honesty by returning money found in the playground to the class teacher even though we told him it was money for Goody-goody. Of course the teacher pocketed the cash. But that was Timi for you. Honest to a fault (in our young eyes). Now he was an office thief. What had transformed Lucifer, the Star of the Morning assembly into the angel of darkness; Satan the evil one? Pride? The need to beta pass mai neighbour? Or just plain environmental and institutional factors? Surely the chap at workdisturbing is a product of the same society.
Timi’s complaints didn’t end there. His wife has been inflating chop moni costs and asking for money to service her car when nothing is wrong with the car. His drivers falsify petrol costs. The children sef inflate the costs of their books and keep on asking for school fees almost convincing that schools now have six terms. A relative had begged for cash to treat his tuberculosis with imported drugs. This treatment went on for one year, till he found out there was no tuberculosis in his relative’s lungs, but rather an infection of evil ingenuity in his heart. The poor chap with the phantom TB had a big quarrel with his wife over moni (you guessed right) and she rang Timi to report her husband.  She now hated his stealing twelve months down the line. She however did not abhor stealing when she was getting her cut.
The last story almost made us crash the car. He called his second son a ‘born thief’. Aged four months he shared his parent’s bed. One night his wife work up startled and violently shook his shoulder. She began to accuse him. ‘Thief wey I marry. See as my right breast flat. Yu don drink all the milk. Wetin Junior go drink now’. Timi looked at the bulging stomach of his son and called his son a thief and a liar for implicating him in the breast milk bunkering. ‘Yu tief sotey, yu come tief wetin bi yua property’ he said reprimanding his son. His wife did not believe him (You know women and their sons). Junior had drunk the right breast empty when everyone was asleep and told his mum it was daddy that stole the milk.
Timi said God saved him by making Junior vomit all the milk he had ‘taken’. That was his defence. We laughed all the way home and on arrival ate dinner out of plates bought by stolen money in his large house which was his official ‘spoils of war’. The TV was large, digital and obscene. We ate sweet stolen food as we watched Brad Pitt et al steal in Ocean’s Eleven. (Wetin man go do. If yu visit white collared tief and he offer yu food, yu go chop nau. Abi?).
May those who have stolen Naija’s cash suddenly vomit it up. So help us God


Babawilly

Dr Wilson Orhiunu

10-3-2014

Saturday 7 May 2016

Bishop David Oyedepo should be made a Degree course



Why do we go to university? I have listened to a few clever people and here is what some of them have said.
  1. To learn things that will improve us as individuals
  2. To learn things that will give us the skills to learn more things at a later date i.e. make one educable.
  3. Acquire specific skills to aid the fulfillment of professional roles in society such as teaching, engineering or Banking.
  4. Provide the country with a work force that enables it to compete with the rest of the world.
University education should teach people to think and that only happens when good teachers meet good learners. That exchange of knowledge is so important to any society. The old will surely die one day but before they leave they deposit their pearls of wisdom and knowledge in the young. This gift of knowledge should help the recipient recognize problems, articulate them clearly, brain storm and finally solve them. If a country is stuck in that nebulous place where unwanted things get repeated in a daily, yearly or four yearly cycle, you do wonder if the education being received is understood. Education cannot be divorced from the country where training is being given. It should equip the student with more than technical information. How does one succeed in Nigeria with so much technical information crowned with a certificate? The problems of bad roads, poor electric supply and insecurity have been discussed for so many hours that rather than sounding intelligent, these discussions that contains so many big words accumulated from foreign universities actually sound unintelligent.
Many blame the Nigerian factor. An invisible force that makes nothing work and corruption thrive. My question is this. How has the telecommunication industry managed to put a phone in the hands of so many Nigerians? I was once stopped by a beggar in Lagos who I showed my money and apologized for lack of change. He brought out a mobile phone and asked someone to bring down some change.  This is proof of the now ubiquitous presence of mobile phones. Now compare this to the days of Nitel. Next question is how come Governor Fashola of Lagos appears to be ‘working?’ How come the dreaded Nigerian Factor did not hamper the above examples? What about the music and film industry? There must be something that works for Nigeria and all these examples need to be studied.
So why not study the Presiding Bishop of Living Faith Church worldwide aka Winners Chapel; Bishop David Oyedepo? He sits at the helm of a large organisation that appears to be growing without the usual African tonic of foreign aid and expatriate workers. I watch their services on line early on Sunday mornings and they start as advertised. That bursts the myth of African time. The ministry is a growing entity and has established schools and universities. What is the secret? Their ministry is a Christian one and it will be too simplistic to just say that it is the blessing of God making the ministry grow. From comments on social media, he has many detractors and I am not writing this to woo them over, neither am I on a mission to recruit new members for his church. I am just saying that success in a place with a reputation for failure needs to be examined.
From my observations-
David Oyedepo works hard for long hours
Is a problem solver
Is a patriotic Nigerian who has a vision.  He claims that the universities he founded would compete with the best universities in the world. I found this particularly inspiring having grown up in Nigeria during military rule. That was a time when the leadership of the country had no respect, regard or ambition for Nigerian education.
He watches no day time television as he claims to be too busy to spend precious time watching busy people.
He writes books and through the ministry’s printing facility has been able to make books affordable to members of his congregation.
The ministry is well organised.
He tells his congregation that he expects them to be world class players in whatever sector of the economy they work.
The question is why should all these be happening in Nigeria and where was the Nigerian factor when all the above were happening?
I visited Winners Chapel aka Canaan land in Ota for the Sunday morning service on 26-9-2010 with my friend Mr Enate Ogedegbe and was quite surprised at what I saw. After the service we drove around Covenant University and went to get something to eat. I saw the students and they were quite respectful. The university had an ambiance that was conducive for learning. Why? When we see things that are organised in a place famed for disorder we need to ask why. The answer can then be applied to every other sphere of Nigerian life.
Another thing that I have noticed is that the Bishop’s wife does not appear to throw her weight around even though she is one of the most powerful women in the country by virtue of her position and the strength of the churches' population. Why?
Education is all about developing curiosity. The Nigerian students should all ask why? Why a thriving Nollywood, why kidnappers and armed robbers, why 419ers, and why Winner’s Chapel? The answer can then be used as a template for what to avoid (as in the case of 419ers) and to emulate and reproduce as is the case for Bishop David Oyedepo and his ministry.


Dr Wilson Orhiunu
Babawilly

26-6-2014