That’s the way rice goes

That phrase: point and kill, says it all. The death of a plant or animal comes before a meal. Next the preparation, the cooking and finally the eating happens. A lot of activity goes on before the spoon arrives at the opening of the mouth. Just as people vary in social status, so does the pre-mastication routine. Even the plates and utensils for eating come in grades. But once that spoon goes between the teeth, the digestion process shows itself to be fully democratised; that is just the way rice goes.

It is the same process for all once that alimentary mechanism kicks in.

For the uninitiated, point and kill refers to the make shift aquarium usually situated in the corner of an eating house where the customers drift to and  choose the fish they want by pointing that index finger of death. The fish is then prepared and served up for the paying guest. It does not come fresher than this.

That Jollof rice, Moin moin and flesh fish are on a continuous journey called - The journey of life. It is a shame that many Naijaz have been sat before plates for decades and still don’t know what happens to the Jollof once they have buried it in their mouths. Hopefully this article wih shed some light.

For starters the teeth are not just for smiling on Instagram upandan. Biting, chewing and the production of saliva all happen in the mouth. This converts food of various sizes and textures into a bolus that can finally be swallowed down the oesophagus (gullet).

The back of the throat is such a wonderful place; a point of no return. There lies the junction where the road forks into two with on going down the wind pipe for breathing and the other one going straight to the stomach. Let’s just say that the wind pipe leading to the lungs has a two way traffic rule but transmits just air while the gullet is a one way one lane express way. (Shayo Masters might disagree). The gullet admits numerous things but just one grain of rice down the wind pipe leads to choking. Naijaz may disobey traffic laws but they would never drive their pounded yams down the wind pipe (Na who wan die?)

Before the spoon actually gets to the mouth, the cooking process produces aromas that stimulate salivation. By the time the spoon arrives, the lubrication for swallowing is abundantly present.

It’s the fish on the flame

Can’t you smell the aroma

That’s the point and the kill

I’m drowning in saliva

Saliva is not just water however. It contains salivary amylase which breaks down some of the starch in food hence the observation those some people who chew long enough start to experience; the food getting sweeter the more they chew. Unfortunately these are the ones who chew forever and still insist on arguing over Naija politics with food in their mouth. (Nothing is uglier than masticated food in the mouth of anyone save your own children).

Once into the stomach, that great big washing machine churns everything around for hours. A plate of food usually consists of Carbohydrates (Jollof), Protein (Fish), Fat (oil) Vitamins and mineral salts. (Depending on which African films are watched you might want to add Love Portions or poisons to this list

. While the mineral salts and Vitamins need no digestion, everything else gets broken down.

This breakdown process is not different from Nigeria’s crude oil being broken down to petrol, diesel, kerosene, petroleum jelly and many other wonderful substances able to make people rich.

The stomach produces acid and pepsin which breaks down protein. As the churned food moves into the duodenum and a message is sent to the Gall bladder which contracts and sends  in the bile required to emulsify the fat (which was added to the Jollof). That same message gets to the Pancreas that lies behind the stomach and it sends its own contribution to the chemical reaction namely trypsinogen for the breakdown of protein (fish), lipase for the breakdown of oil aided by the Bile salts and pancreatic amylase for the carbohydrate (Jollof). As the food is transported along the small intestine it gets mixed well with the enzymes ensure the chemical reaction continues. The end products of digestion begin to get absorbed through the gut wall.

The gut is one long tube or perhaps one long bus route in Lagos. The Conductor announces the various bus stops and no passenger leaves. Only (chemical passengers) enzymes enter and start to ruffle up the exiting passengers all the way to the final bus stop. (Toilet!!! And everybody shouts, Owa!!!)

The small intestine is a long journey of winding narrow roads without street lights. The further along the journey, the more area boys begin to show up (Bacteria) and they are not without their usefulness.

Soon the food becomes completely unrecognisable as it approaches that junction that marks the beginnings of the large bowel; the ileocaecal valve. From here onwards the water is sucked right out of the food which can now be called stool. Traffic is slow for maximum extraction of every last drop of moisture from the stool. Like cars stuck in traffic, the life is slowly drained out of the passengers and that strong smell of fumes become suffocating.

Round the bends they drive till it all comes to the great hold up at the rectum. The horns blare loudly singing with a tone that cannot be ignored, ‘give me a chance, I want to come through’.

This call of nature is usually obeyed promptly.

So what is the point of all the drama with point and kill fish, Jollof rice, moin moin and dodo? Why should there be a long food preparation process? Why can’t we just have taps that flow with protein shakes, Carbohydrate fluids and fat juices? The acquisition of raw food materials followed by cooking in a hot kitchen seems like too much work.

Personally if given the choice between a drink of tasteless amino acids or a chicken roasting in the oven and filling the house with that aroma that gives the stomach hope of good things coming, I will choose the latter. The sitting around the table and going through the act of eating is a great social event. Most great partnerships usually start with that first tentative meal together. Breaking bread, breaking ice and then feeling your way through is how business is done. The journey is just as exciting as arriving at the destination.

Life is about the process. Breaking complex things down and then reassembling them up again. Ultimately the body works on fuel and it is nice that this fuel comes into our fuel tanks through pleasurable means unlike those poor cars at petrol stations get lifeless fuel pumps stuck into them while they stand looking totally bored.