Monday, 29 September 2014

PhD Holders from UniDisco




Self –appointed cleaner roam to and fro seeking to ‘wipe’ smiles off faces. The smile is a dirty thing to them so armed with training from the University of Discouragement aka UniDisco they hit the road with their GPS with tells them where the merriment is taking place. PhDs (Pull him down) awarded them at UniDisco helps to boast their confidence in their -insertion of san-san into your Garri – mission, for nothing empowers a Naija like a Diploma. The best place to work is on your parade. As you smile with your guards down, these agents of gloom with abilities to conjure up a tropical storm in the Sahara will unleash acid rain on your parade leaving you with bad memories.
The art of Good- times termination will always be practiced. It has its uses. Resistance is always good for growth. Gyms worldwide are founded on the principle of resistance. If everyone agrees with you and your muscles you will never get stronger. These party wreckers will get to you unless you learn how they operate. Forget why they operate. That solves nothing. They are ubiquitous like gravity so just work with them to your advantage and get on with life.
Methods in discouragement
1.       Citation of a historical fact aimed at inducing fear. E.g. while celebrating the purchase of a high performance motor bike or car they throw in a comment about how someone died driving at high speed a few years ago.  Don’t think about what they have said. It’s rain on your parade. Wade through the puddles.
2.       Twisting statistics against you. E.g. On the day you open your new business someone decides to talk about the failure rate of new businesses in the first twelve months.
3.       Be little your talents. This can be done indirectly by being very generous with praise about giants in your field but making no comment about you. Sometimes your best efforts are put down by recalling better efforts from the past.  E.g.  You take someone to a restaurant and they tell you about the amazing restaurant they went to three years ago throughout the meal.
4.       Show you kindness and let you know you will probably fail. They do this as they cannot bear to see you cry when the inevitable happens to the unprepared. They may agree with your attempts at stardom and recall a few names of people who started like you and made it. But in kindness they tell you, ‘with due respect’, that the people who succeeded were all geniuses (and they keep silent about their estimation of your capabilities). You have just been hit by the Peace extinguisher for that seed of doubt eats into your confidence till you find it difficult to sleep.
5.       The direct approach.
a.       You get threatened by a friend who promises to end the relationship if you continue to spend so much time to better yourself
b.      You are told to your face that you wrongly think you are special
c.       You educational needs are exposed and the needed lessons are offered, E.g. ‘I will teach you are lesson for trying to go above your station’ someone might say when you announce your next move.
d.      Geographical experts pretend to come to your aid by vowing to put you in your place, as you have apparently gotten lost due to your wandering ambitious mind climbing the palm tree beyond the last leaf. (I believe I can fly!)
e.      Some cannot be bothered to send down the acid rain. They just aim to kill you and later get around to raining on the funeral.

6.       They remind you of your previous ventures that crashed. Negative memories are recalled quite well. If all our examinations were about painful and shameful incidents from our past, we would all have first Class certificates. No one forgets shame and thinking on past disgraces paralyses all present day cognition and actions.
7.       They remind you of your grandfather, father and relatives’ collective failures.’ No one in this family has ever done this. Why can’t you be humble and accept your lot in life with contentment?’ they ask. (Na who know man na im dey kill man).
8.       They are lost for words and just laugh at you long and hard. Then they tell others who laugh longer and harder till they conclude with your medical diagnosis in disgust; ‘you are going mad mate’. (Ol’ boy, na so craze dey start o).
9.       Remind you of the arduous task ahead. ‘Have you thought about getting a lawyer?’ they ask and when you say you cannot afford a lawyer you see them shaking their head at the ‘fine mess’ you are about to build.
10.   They tell you to trust no one (but them) as the world is wicked. They ask if you have partners and you say yes (who ever does business on his own??). They then question you on your partner till they get to a question you cannot answer. They then shake their head and you feel like a foolish novice too green to do simple background checks.
11.   They make promises, not to invest in your business but to always be there for you if you need them (what they really mean is they would lend you money and a shoulder to cry on after the great inevitable flop).
12.   They maximise your misery by leveraging on their social networks to compound your discouragement. In other words they tell everybody they know about the foolish guy or girl with the foolish dreams and ill thought out plans. Now you risk running into people at parties or in taxis talking about you without knowing that you are the subject of the ridicule.
13.   They tell you what they see. Unfortunately it is always, ‘I don’t see that happening’.


The above are just some of the methods that will be thrown your way as you fight to get the prize. Just think like a prize fighter. If he has no good sparring partners, he actually pays good money to recruit some heavy hitters for he knows listening to the coach and dreaming about victory is not enough. You need opposition in your arena constantly to keep you on your toes. So when next the adverse prognosticators come around and start to throw left jabs of discouragement of right hooks of disillusionment, just know that it is part of your training.  Mohammed Ali we know, Tyson we know but who remembers the names of their sparring partners??



Babawilly

Dr Wilson Orhiunu

29-9-2014 

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