Loving ,seeking and generating Fun

Like it is for Heat, so it is for Fun; some love it, some seek it and some generate it. Once in a long while one comes across someone who does all three permanently and this is usually a character in a movie. The reverse can be true also as a few people hate heat, run away from it and apply the air conditioners at the drop of a hat. Should the air conditioners be faulty they have a bucket of cool water permanently on standby to douse any fun fuelled embers threatening to break the dour existence that surrounds them.

So what is fun? Well Bob Dylan says, I paraphrase- the answer is blowing in the farts. I don’t know what fun is but I know the experience. It is that aimless activity that makes one smile. Pillow fighting, telling silly stories, water pistol fights, pop corn fights or running after friends on the beach without a plan of what you would do when you catch them.  How do you define this meaningless pleasurable activity?

We all know that we experience fun in the company of some people and it tends to be the same people others experience fun with. I tried to ask myself what made me have fun when I was in the company of people and it was hard to answer. I decided to conduct an experiment and see if during the course of my week I felt a sense of fun when engaging with the different personalities I met. I tried to note what exactly made the interaction fun. It soon became obvious that fun is in the eyes of the beholder as people who I deemed fun might not appear as fun to others. Perhaps this was more a test of my perceptions.

Experiment

First man who made a mark on the fun meter was a guy who said, ‘I am very good at picking losers’ in respect to his ‘little gambling habit’. He had done the horses for many years and won close to nothing.

He obviously was not afraid to poke fun at himself and that made him fun.

Lesson learnt- those who don’t take themselves too seriously are fun.

Next guy was one with a negative fun quotient. Argumentative, challenging all my explanations. Asking ’probing questions’ that I could see through before he even opened his mouth. He tried so hard to put me down through the disguise of questioning every single thing I said. I kept on answering and in the end he left.  (Over the years I have come to learn the subtle difference between questions asked for information and questions asked to catch you out).

Lesson learnt- people trying to get one up on you intellectually are not fun

Then comes the Positive Fun lady was someone who told me about her kindness. She went on a holiday with a party of deaf people to help them with sign language and speaking. I was so impressed with her kind heartedness I felt she was fun to speak to

Lesson learnt -Kind people are always fun to be with.

Next up is the drama queen. She made me feel I was Jeremy Kyle. Most definitely the most disorganised person I have met this year. She spoke of all her dramas nonstop and could not remember any essential information about herself. She blamed he wicked mischievous conniving daughter in law for all her woes. She even went as far as questioning the paternity of her grandson. It was just too much. Of course none of her problems were her responsibility. Her son too was exempt of blame. It was the lady who tricked him into marriage that wrecked all the havoc. (Na so!)

Lesson learnt- Drama is not fun.

Next I recall a gentleman who had just returned from an all-expense paid holiday and had loved it. He spoke of the cost, the nice building, the daily sweet sessions in the pool and the joy of mixing with family members.

Lesson learnt– Grateful people are fun. They are thankful for what they enjoy and recount their pleasurable experiences more than their depressing stories. They value good memories and talk about them in a way that warms the heart.

Next is the Lady who complained about every single thing under the heavens. It was nonstop complaining.

Lesson learnt- listening to someone complaining is no fun.

Conclusion of the Fun matter

It seems that the grateful people who are very thankful for everything they get are the most fun to be around. They feel they are privileged to have received what they have and think about how fortunate they are all day long. That in turn leads them to talk about these points of blessing constantly.

Fun observations: Day out in Glasgow

Sitting in the Botanical gardens in Glasgow on a warm summer’s day I saw the chief generators of fun in action. These are the children. They ran around screaming and laughing but the running had no purpose. The sprinklers were turned and rotated slowly and spraying out water on the flowers. Kids ran under the water and screamed in delight (Don’t they have water at home?). This is the same thing that makes kids watch a film six times a day and still find it funny. Their sense of wonder is always fresh and alive even with something they have experienced a hundred times. Looking at the sky and beholding the clouds is exciting for kids. The moon is magical and the stars are wonderful at night. Even when there is little fun to be extracted from an activity they create the fun, usually conjured out of thin air.

The ice cream van chimed and the kids dragged their parents to queue for ice-cream. Once the ice cream cone was in their hands they licked at it like it was the best thing in the world. The adults on the other hand sat, hiding behind dark wearing sun glasses and just looked. No screaming, no smiling no silliness, and no fun. In one section of the park some had stripped down for a tan. This was business. They just laid back and thought of England (Or Scotland?).

Kids will generate fun out of nothing. They don’t take themselves seriously. They will play with kids they have just met without even knowing their names. They would share their ice creams without a care for hygiene. They have lived too short a life to accrue any dramas or debts and so have nothing to complain about.

Final lesson- if you want to be more fun, you need to behave like a child

Babawilly

Dr Wilson Orhiunu

2-8-14