Analysis of the Poem A to Z by Cynthia Ikoro Oroh. December 2014

 

Excerpts from a Thesis by Cynthia Ikoro Oroh

This was a 25,000 word academic paper. I have only quoted the sections that covered the Poem A to Z . My Time (Anthology of Poems).  2005 by Dr Wilson Orhiunu

 

1.3 Aims and Objectives

This study seeks to analyze the structure of the poems written both in English, Pidgin English and a blend of both. The study would look at the language of the poems critically and analytically. The purpose of carrying out this study is to show that Wilson Orhiunu’s My Time has both structural and language features whether written in English or Pidgin English.

 

1.4 Justification of the Study

A research gap has been established that nothing has been written on the selected poems concerning their structure and language. The study of the structure and language of different poems by different writers has been adequately explored by researchers but no one has attempted to do a structure and language analysis of the poems. This study is justified also by the fact that it would create an avenue for more scholarly work on the book and create an awareness of its creativity.

 

1.5 Scope and Limitations

This study would explore the structure and language of twenty poems from the poetry collection for the research are “A to Z”, “Africanian”, “Ashamed to Say”, “Cry”, “Earth’s Been Sold”, “Give Hope”, “GPS” “How it is”, “Hypocrites”,“I beg”, “Joyful Ghetto Rhyming”, “Kai Kai Lady”, “Misunderstanding Bob”,“Mr. Perfect”, “My time”,“Naija Politician in Love”, “Next Time”“Obioma” “Pain” “Sam Twenty Tiri”. In examining the structure of the poems, this research would focus on the stanza and verse, rhythm and metre, the rhyme scheme and their significance. For the language, the diction would be considered, mood, imagery, irony, figurative use of language and significance of the writer’s choice of language.

STRUCTURE OF THE POEMS

 

3.1"A TO Z

Poem Summary/Subject Matter

The poem's subject matter is the diverse things happening in the Nigerian society, that is, the good, the bad and the ugly. The poem touches almost every aspect of life in Nigeria but majorly deals with the plight of the masses amidst plenty. The poem portrays suffering, indignation, hopelessness, corruption, oppression, etc. "A to Z" as the name implies, is the representation of the society in its totality.

 

Stanza and Verse

"A to Z" is a 26 line poem without stanza division, and each line begins with the chronological representation of the 26 letters of the alphabet. In each line, written in initial capital letters are the words representing the letter the line stands for in the poem.Though there is no physical division of the poem into stanzas, but from the lines of the poem, it is obvious that there is a division of thought, just like paragraphs represent the same unit of thoughts. The division of the lines of the poem into unit of thought is as follows:

 

 Lines A - D is individualized. It is talking about a particular person, and to be precise. Words like 'his', 'he 'his' 'he' used sequentially from lines A – D, shows that the poet persona is referring to a man. A is the first letter of the alphabet and it represents the beginning of the story of the man. B, C and D give more information about the ‘Area Boys’. With this, a stanza has been created mentally. Line E is on its own and it forms a unit of thought different from that of A – D. It is the only completely positive line in the poem and it stands as a stanza all by itself. Lines F – L represents the terrible living conditions in Nigeria, ranging from bad governance, hunger, to joblessness and jobs with meagre salaries. Lines F – L therefore represents same line of thought forming its own stanza. Lines M – Z, the poet persona changes his tone, and personalizes the story. He includes himself in the predicament of the country. Words like “our”, “ours”, “we”, “we’re” connote the personae’s inclusion in the story.

 

With this proposed mental division of the poem into stanzas, the poem has four stanzas. The first made up of 4 lines, the second made up of 1 line, the third made up of 7 lines, and the last made up of 14 lines. Though there is a mental division of the units of thoughts, the poet did not intend to give the poem a physical stanza division. This would have stopped the sequential flow of the poem in the A, B, C format.

 

Rhythm and Metre

This is where the beauty of the poem is most prominent; the poem is highly rhythmic as it is expected of nursery rhyme, which is the format the poet uses for the poem. The poet, using the A, B, C format gives the poem a musical tone. When reading the letters of the alphabets by children, it follows a well-defined rhythmic pattern: A for Apple, B for Ball, C for Cat, and so on. This poem does the same thing as in A for the Area boy, B for the Babes, C for the Contracts, and so on. Therefore, the rhythm of the poem conforms to the recitation of the A, B, C rhyme. Reciting the poem from the beginning to the end without of a stanza pause/ division is what makes the poem overly rhythmic.

 

The glide also, from stressed to unstressed syllables and vice versa is what brings about the rhythm of the poem. The stress is placed mostly on the word representing the letter of that line and this places more emphasis on the word as it is preceded by an unstressed syllable.

 

Rhyme Scheme

The rhyme scheme of the poem is, AA BA  BB  AA  CB  DD EE  BB  FF GG  HH  GI. Having no stanza division and following no rhyme scheme, the rhyme of the poem is uniquely different.

 

LANGUAGE OF THE POEMS

     4.1 “A TO Z”

DICTION

            Following the pattern of the A to Z nursery rhyme, the writer picks words that would stand for each letter of the alphabet. Letter A in the poem stands for Area and letter Z stands for Zebra. Since it is written in line with the nursery rhyme, the writer’s choices of words are simple that is, he uses low diction. The writer is addressing everybody because the poem covers diverse facets of life. The poem addresses issues ranging from bribery and corruption, bad governance, suffering and strife of the masses to joblessness and the health of everyone. Words like “Dozens of Bribe”“hunger” “indignation” “failure” “governance” “k-leg” suggest the thematic preoccupation of the poem.

                       

IMAGERY

There are mental images created in some of the lines of the poem. The most vivid images are found in the last few line of the poem, they are lines 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 26. In line 19, the image of a football stadium is created in the mind of the reader. In line 20, the reader pictures a tailor on a machine sewing Ankara and could even here the sound the machine makes while sewing. In line 21, the image of a man dressed in traditional attire, sitting under an umbrella is created in the reader’s mind. The image of dejection is created through taps that are not bringing forth water. This image is created in line 23. In line 24, the reader pictures the musical instrument Xylophone with a group of people singing in accompaniment to the instrument. In the last line, the reader first pictures a Zebra with is black and white stripes and then transport that image to the road, creating a road with black and white stripes.

These mental images are created by the writer to make the reader see through words the picture of the country he is trying to paint.

 

FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE

There is strong use of irony in the poem. In line 7, “G for the Garri the people can’t eat” show’s a deep irony. Garri is supposed to be a staple food everyone can afford, and it is mostly done by the poor masses. It is therefore ironic that the most common food cannot be afforded by people in charge of its production. Line 14 strengthens the irony. “N for Nigeria in potential number one” the number one position could mean in Africa. If Nigeria is potential number one then it is quite ironic that so much hunger and indignation exist amidst plenty of wealth and enjoyment. Another use of irony is in line 15 “O for October whose first day is ours”. October 1^st stands for Nigeria’s Independence Day but even with this independence, Nigeria is still under the burden of neo-colonialism as seen in line 17 “Q for the Queen we are still commonwealth”. These two lines suggest an irony of Nigeria’s situation that even after gaining independence; they are still in a subtle way under their former colonizers.

The writer’s use of irony serves as a way of strengthening his message. He satirizes the government, the country and all that is bad, in a bid to write it.

 

5.3 CONCLUSION

From the foregoing, it is evident that much work has not been done on the overall literary appreciation of Wilson Orhiunu’s My Time. Structure and language is an aspect of literature (poetry) that has been adequately explored in many works but there’s a wide research gap in terms of some contemporary works especially those written in Pidgin English. This research has to an extent covered a gap in this field but there’s still so much work to be done in this area. Aspects on literature like the themes, socio-historical context, form and content etc. are still unexplored in the poems of Wilson Orhiunu. The researcher therefore suggests that writers should pay closer attention to homeland poems that are deep-rooted in the Nigerian society. 

 

 

                                   REFERENCE

PRIMARY SOURCES

Orhiunu, Wilson.  My Time.Birmingham: 2005

A to Z (My Time 2005). Foot notes by Dr Wilson Orhiunu January 2023

Alphabet Challenge

A

I have been bullied into doing this

A is for Area Boy assuming his Big post

(A-Z is from my 2005 book: My Time ; so no one shuo come here and say I am against their ‘candidate’

Sadly there is a lack of meritocracy in Naija and keys posts are held by the wrong people. There are two main Guys i would mention. Sir George Goldie CEO United African Company 1879. He was trading in Southern Nigeria with 'harsh methods' that would not have been tolerated in England but all is fair in 'area'. He was the Master Mind behind the concept of Nigeria and created the culture of repatriating money abroad to England. A Culture followed till today.

Goldie was the original Jagaban of Nigeria but boys no wan read books. No light

Next is Sir Frederick Lugard. Governor General of Nigeria 1914 to 1919. This gentleman had methods of diplomacy that were under pined by the Maxim gun (Sign here or die resisting!) He would never have rose to leadership in England but all is fair in 'area'.

The culture he created of a totalitarian leadership and abuse of power still exists today in Naija Government. To these 'Area Boys' Nigeria was just a place to do business, chop small, make some money for England, and live as lords.

Naija is still providing 'spare parts' for Europe

 

 

 

 

Alphabet Challenge

B for the Babes he is planning to toast

 

Area Boys in power is a tragedy, akin to slaves on horses and princes on foot. Having power with no regards to the responsibility to serve the people, the area boy is on a path to violently pillage the society. Since men love women, power gives him an opportunity to have his pick of women. With money, he cares not about how the babes feel. Afterall when buying a ram for Christmas you don’t ask the rams about how they feel about the sale. The babes in turn live above their means. Wigs, phones and clothes cost money as do foreign holidays and the babes have no means. An African sage with vast knowledge of ancient economic principles spoke about the Babes centuries ago. He said, Money for hand, back for ground

 

Alphabet Challenge

 

C for the contracts that will pay off his debts 

C is indeed for Contracts for the Area Boy in Power. Those who sponsor his political campaign did so in anticipation of contracts. Hyperinflated contracts for white elephant projects that guarantees everyone gets a piece of the Nigerian pie. An African sage with vast knowledge of ancient economic principles spoke about contracts centuries ago. He said, you scratch my back, I scratch your back.

Vying for office involves campaigning for four years. Party primaries cost money. The campaign trial involves travelling across a vast country at great cost. The people love the spectacle and the the rent-a-crowd job opportunities. Stomach infrastructure flows. Surprise surprise! The people are shocked when the politician comes to office and starts to recoup the expenditure.

 

Alphabet Challenge

 

D for the Dozens of bribes he would get

 

Dozen loads of bribes come to who is in office. Contractors know they need to out perform the competition so take our newpaper adverts to wish the politician well on the anniversary of when he bought his electric generation. Christmas is a special time for bribes masquerading as gifts. An African sage with vast knowledge of ancient economic principles spoke about bribes centuries ago. He said, na from where man dey work he go dey chop na.

The politician gets a percentage from any private firm awarded a contract. (And most times it is his own company)

 

Alphabet Challenge

 

E for Enjoyment; the songs and the dance

 

Lagos is the urban song and dance capital of the world. There is no surprise there as Lagos is an enjoyment centre. During the oil boom of the seventies every weekend was an occasion but in homes and on the streets and in the clubs. Food and drink flowed and musicians with their fingers on the pulse of the city’s merriment released songs back to back. Sunny Ade, Ebenezer Obey, Victor Uwaifo and Fela Kuti. The first dance we learnt for a song was Fela’s Open and Close. This was a Sapa free era when you danced in a state of over feeding. Despite the current harsh economic climate Afrobeat has become more virulent than Ebola and the accompanying leg work is just impossible for foreigners to learn. E shock dem!

 

Alphabet Challenge

 

F for the Failure of Good Governance

Failure is never a good word. Governance is important. But what is governance ? It is a collection of actions that consistently happen within an organisation in response to various stresses to the system. Checks and balances spring to mind. There has to be systems in place that holds the people and those in authority to account. Nobody is perfect. The accountant general might pay all the wages for the state into his private account but what happens next is important. Does he get arrested? Or are the salaries left in a high interest account for 6 months so that he can profit while families go hungry? In football there is governance on the field. The defender may not want to concede a goal and might throw a punch and knock out the attacker just before he shoots to score. Human beings will always do mad things. When they do, governance kicks in. An African sage with vast knowledge of ancient economic principles spoke about failed governance centuries ago. He said, na the cat wey tief the fish dey lead the panel of inquiry into the missing fish.

 

Alphabet Challenge

 

G for the Garri the people can’t eat

 

Garri is made from Cassava and is a staple diet in Nigeria. It is ubiquitous and serves the country better than any civil servant in post both as a main course and a snack. Garri made into eba is eaten with soups and garri soaked in water with added sugar, G Units (peanuts) or milk can be drank any time at great ease. Garri rises in symbolism from the plate into the collective pschye of Nigeria. It is an euphemism of everything good. Those going to wor are said to be going to find their garri when those whose fortunes have been thwarted by malevolence spirits and their human agents are said to have had sand poured into their garri.

With inflation the common man finds that he struggles to afford his daily garri. An African sage with vast knowledge of ancient economic principles spoke about unattainable garri centuries ago. He said, bad governments will make garri scarce despite a great cassava harvest and as for the little garri wey remain, dem must put sand sand inside.

 

 

Alphabet Challenge

H for the Hunger that adds to the Heat

 

Nigerians are hungry for both change and food. For some it’s a strong desire for a change of food. Sapa’nomics is everywhere and belle dey gum back. (The stomach is so empty that rather than a bulge, the abdomen sinks in almost going into the back).

An African sage with vast knowledge of ancient economic principles spoke about Hunger in the Heat centuries ago. He said, poor man dey suffer, monkey dey work, baboon dey chop. Sapa’nomics causing Japa’nomics. The truth is that where every there is hunger, not everyone is hungry. The workers work, and might eat but the upper class who run things eat and might not work.

The heat in a tropical country is no surprise but the factors that brought hunger also brought interrupted electric power supply that translates into no fans, no air-conditioners but abundance hungry mosquitoes in the heat (all night long).

 

 

Alphabet Challenge

 

I for Indignation that good people feel.

In a twisted case of tropical irony, the corrupt leaders also complain about the fall outs of corruption. They vote with their feet and fly out of Nigeria to Europe for backaches and headaches because like all the citizens they are appalled at the standard of Healthcare in the country. The Council for the Regulation of Engineering in Nigeria (COREN), says it has registered 67, 548 engineering practitioners in the country as at September 25, 2020.

The roads are still bad. The indignation continues

There about 10,000 Nigerians Doctors practising in the UK. The indignation continues

There about 8,000 Nigerian Doctors and Dentists in the USA. The indignation continues

Japa therapeutics for the curation of Sapa Pathological manifestations

An African sage with vast knowledge of ancient economic and psychological principles spoke about indignation centuries ago. He said, when you are in bed in your hut hungry and the sweet aroma of your wife’s cooking drifts across the village to your nostrils from her lover’s kitchen and you know where she is, you are actually  in bed with your second wife called indignation.

Wahala no dey finish but hope faith and creative problem solving MUST never finish

Alphabet Challenge

 

J for the Jobs that can’t pay the bills

Ma fi billing pa mi. There is always a bill after every human activity. The bill comes to do either one these two things; kill you or enhance your reputation as a capable somebori. Jobs pay a wage as the labourer is worthy of his salary. It is the salary that makes it possible for the worker to have transportation to go to a home where he reunites with a well fed family all happy to see him. Then he returns the next day for work while the kids go to school; an education paid for by his salary. I did not attend Harvard Business School but I do know that the said salary must be in excess of the total family bills. Once an economy starts to fail, inflation ensures that the basics cannot be afforded and the crime rate goes up. An African sage with vast knowledge of ancient economic and psychological principles spoke about poorly paid jobs centuries ago. He said, no romance without finance. There will be  frustration in the ozzaaaroom ooo!!!!!.

While a poorly paid job is better than no job. A job than cannot paid the bills no bi work o, na management o. (Saint Augustine Business School. The Rovers Campus).

 

Alphabet Challenge

 

K is for the K leg affecting the country.

The Orthopaedic Surgeons call it Genu Valgum. When the deformity is pronounced it produces a limp that hinders mobility. All nations stand on principles. A walking stick just wouldn’t do. Nations need to develop , sometimes running uphill. Nigeria appears to be standing on legs riddled with osteomyelitis and a little  gangrene. That explains what people call the N factor that rears its head in every aspect of national life (well, excluding Afrobeat, Nollywood, Amala making and baby making. Economy going down but population going up!)

Nigerian factor : Excuse used to explain away failures in Nigerian organisations or government. The term is both depressing and unpatriotic but the general premise is that any activity involving Nigerians has problems. IN practical terms it is usually activities involving government and Nigerians past thirty years of age.

An African sage with vast knowledge of ancient economic and orthopaedic principles spoke about K legs centuries ago. He said, las las, e don cast, leg wey no straight, break am and then straighten am.

This country will be rebuilt.

 

Cometh The People

1

Cometh the hour

Cometh the People

Birth the finest hour

O wombs of brave compatriots

Change has come

For all tribes and kindred

The sun sweetly shines with

Rays of hope and inspiration

2

This nation shall be built

From the ashes rise the towers

Join hands with brothers and sisters

Put strife and hate aside

The years of vile stagnation

Behind us in the past

Our back and hearts are strengthened

The future is ours to take

3

So ring the bell o People

Our destiny has began

The tears and pains are buried

Faith rises from the soil

Obedience unites a People

As Nigeria insists on change

That hour is upon us

The people shall arise

 

4

We work hard as a People

We toil and never sleep

We leap across big mountains

Overcoming every foe

Though History points a finger

That mocks our new resolve

Our God sends great assistance

Our compatriots shall excel

 

5

So tell the unborn nation

Still in the loins of men

Their future will be better

Than what has gone before

For they will be a people

Much mightier than we are

And they will owe their fortune

To Change that is happening now

 

 

 

 

Dr Wilson Orhiunu

 

Babawilly

03/05/15

 

 

Alphabet Challenge

 

L is for the Lazy who take all things easy

 

In times of urgency, some will say , ‘relax first, I cannot come and kill myself’. These are lazy people lacking in the discipline to bring their dreams to past. Due to the long hours spent in bed they have numerous dreams and visions but they just can’t get up. The never suffer with insomnia rather insomnia suffers from them. I tell all my high achievers suffering from anxieties and the fear   of failure to have a Lazy friend and hand out with them once a month. The lazy provide an  important service to a society full of stress. They know how to unwind and are aware of which  joints are best to do so in. The latest music and movies are known to them and they know all the best gossip. Three hours in their company and you are relaxed, having had the time of your life. Because the lazy are unwilling to expend energy they may sometimes come up with the most cost- effective and energy efficient way to get a task completed.

An African sage with vast knowledge of ancient economic principles spoke about lazy people centuries ago. He said, ‘always run difficult tasks by lazy people’. They are geniuses at delegation and they are expert at never giving jobs to lazy people. Their motto: this life; I can’t kill myself.

Always bear in mind that today’s ‘laziness’ might be tomorrow’s standard operation procedure

 

 

Alphabet Challenge

 

M for the Motherland, our place in the Sun

The men pined for the Guavas of home in a distant land of strange tongues and exotic cultures. They sang, Oh my home. Oh my home. When shall I see my home. When shall I see my native land, I will never forget my home.

Of course men and women naturalise everywhere. People can acquire new tastes and new sensibilities. The Motherland could be supressed to the back of the mind and deceive the brain that the Data is gone (Otilo!) and all the memories are discarded to a recycle bottomless bin. It takes just one drum beat and it all comes rushing back to raw consciousness with interest. When the ancestors call, it is a sound inaudible to the ear’s tympanic membranes. It is an ancient rhythm heard in the heart (for cardiac chambers have ears).

An African sage with vast knowledge of ancient economic principles and human geography spoke about people and their ancestral homestead centuries ago. He said, home is home.

There is indeed a place in the sun where there is hope for everyone. Mama Africa gave us our portion of Earth and we affectionately call it Naija. Some think the ancestors are all male but the prostate gland cannot bear babies. Our ancestor is doing a head stand with her hair in the Atlantic. Her crotch is Lokoja and her legs up the Niger and Benue.

And the sun never stops shining.

 

Alphabet Challenge

 

N for Nigeria. In potential Number One

 

The naming ceremony for Nigeria took place behind closed doors. Flora Shaw heard the name ‘outside’ and decided on it. She appears to be an aunty that got what she wanted. She was friends with Cecil Rhodes and George Goldie. She obviously had an eye for men in power but as she couldn’t marry either; she still didn’t loose guard and so married Lord Lugard. She mentioned the name Nigeria in an article published in The Times in January 1897 and the rest became history. She was born in Woolwich and had no children with Lugard. Her spiritual descendants must be Naija people as they all flock to live in the Woolwich area till date. An African sage with vast knowledge of ancient economic and sociological principles spoke about human habitations centuries ago.

He said, monkey no dey born goat but if he adopt goat, the goat go like to live around monkey family house.

The British came to the Niger Area with their Boys because it had potential to yield profit for Empire. The potential endures till date. New mineral discoveries are announced daily. There is indeed a potential for generate wealth to help Naija people on Naija soil but the goats keep on repatriating stolen wealth to the Monkey’s banks in the land of Flora Shaw.

 

 

Alphabet Challenge

O for October whose first day is ours

 

Independence means make your own. You write your own vision, policies and strategies and inform the world about it. When the world writes your history, economic policies and strategies you are not independent. The problem with not making your own is that your have to import. And when you run out of money, you receive loans to import more. If steel is not manufactured, it has to be imported. The oil in the ground cannot be explored without steel so the technologies are imported. The Cocoa comes out of the ground with full chest but there are no global chocolate brands so we sell produce at peanuts and import chocolate at an Oba’s ransome (Kuti). Just dey play

An African sage with vast knowledge of ancient economic principles and human behaviour spoke about independence centuries ago. He said, if you own the drums and play the beat but you do not manufacture the microphones or the recording equipment, you will think you own Afrobeat but you don’t. Just dey play

Social media is the new Empire. They have all the Data. If WhatsApp stops in Nigeria, the nation will stop. Our independence na scam

Manufacturing, Digital, Financial, Military and social media dependence is the order of the day.

 

Alphabet Challenge

 

P for the prayers that go out all hours

 

We thought the Biblical Prophet Elijah was a bad guy. Why all this Mount Carmel yabbis to the prophets of Baal na?

And at noon Elijah mocked them, saying, “Cry aloud, for he is a god. Either he is musing, or he is relieving himself, or he is on a journey, or perhaps he is asleep and must be awakened.”

Little did I know that people in Nigeria still feel that their gods are asleep and must be roused with loud prayers from huge loud speakers. I usually wake up at the first syllable of their prayers but they go on and on. Churches and Mosques, at the crack of dawn just when your sleep is sweetest, you hear them.

As a Christian I am all for prayers around the clock. But the silent ones. The private ones. The gentle prayers. I believe that God will answer based on faith and not on volume of voice or abundance of words.

An African sage with vast knowledge of ancient economic principles and spiritual issues spoke about  God’s state of consciousness centuries ago. He said, cow wey no get tail, na God dey drive am fly, God no dey sleep o

Since the Bible said he who watches over Israel (Nigeria) will neither slumber nor sleep, biko off mic.

I am a simple man and I want to sleep and slumber in peace. Still dey pray for me sha.

 

Alphabet Challenge

 

Q for the Queen, we are still Commonwealth.

 Well, my A to Z poem was written in 2005. I loved the Queen. Koman beat me.

I returned to the UK on the day Her Majesty died. I had returned from burying my mum in Nigeria and was already mourning.

I had attended the Commonwealth Games 2023 in my City of Birmingham and was happy to be part of it.

Some say they are angry about the slave trade and colonialism and so want nothing to do with the Commonwealth. I don’t feel the same way.

There are many areas of mutual benefit for Nigeria and England, so while we don’t deny the past we need to think of a future that would be better for our children than it was for us.

The Queen paid two visits to Nigeria. The first was a 20 day visit (28/1/1956 to 16/2/1956) and it included a Naija Valentine Day. The second visit was in December 2003.

God bless the memory of the late Queen Elizabeth the Second

 

 

Alphabet Challenge

R for the risks we take with our health

 

Na wa for Naija men sha. They take too many risks. The biggest one  is when they suspect everything a Doctor says to be a part of a grand conspiracy.

Some don’t believe in any Virus whatsoever (because they cannot see them), yet they believe in juju they cannot see.

Some are not too keen on speed limits on the motorway while others think drink driving once in a while is ok. These are all activities that can end life prematurely.

Voting in politicians that lack the capacity to improve health in the country is risky.(Just commissioning large hospitals is not healthcare provision. Rather it is a ‘contract for the boys’ situation)

Light, running water and a good sewage system would do more for health than cutting ribbons in front of large white buildings. Affordable nutrition is the best tablet a human being can get. Putting men in power who cannot take a wholistic approach to the protection of our collective wellbeing, human rights to health care and health equality is carelessness.

Each human has a right to health care and health equality. But the right to vote is superior to the right to receive a robust health system.

 The big shot flies abroad for the healthcare of himself and his family while his supporters sing his praises and fight in his name while they do not even have passports that are in date.

Risky!!!

And while we are on the topic; is the Brazillian Butt Lift really worth the risk of undergoing anaesthesia?

Ukwu!!!

 

Alphabet Challenge

 

S for Stadium, we’re still good at soccer.

A tap in by Nwankwo Kanu was how the press reported the only goal in Portsmouth FC’s one nil victory over West Bromwich Albion in the FA Cup semi-final at Wembley on the 5^th of April 2008. That was my first time seeing Kanu in action and my one and only trip to Wembley Stadium. This was the biggest stadium I had been in till I toured the Nou Camp, Barcelona on the 16^th of November 2022. The UAC Sports ground , now called Teslim Balogun Stadium Lagos is where I had the fondest soccer memories. Between 1975 to 1980 I watched our St Finbarr’s College Akoka school team play the Principal’s Cup Football tournament there. Nigeria no doubt has the talents to win a World Cup someday. But potential is not enough.

We need to organise like Asake. Bring back law and order to every nook and koro of Nigerian life.

Today there is VAR and we still have disputes. Spare a thought for our playground football games in the 70s when the goal posts were marked by stones. Now, for a goal to be allowed, more than 50% of the ball must go over the inner quarter of the stone. Anything above a quarter was an ‘over stone’ which meant a disallowed goal. Arguments raged over such high velocity shots that might have hit the bar and gone in if a bar existed. Action replays were dramatized with people holding the ball and demonstrating the flight path of the ball with their biased hands in slow motion.

Football is Nigeria’s national sport. Killing mosquitoes is a close second followed by switching on the Gen.

 

 

Alphabet Challenge

 

T

T for the tailors who sew our Ancara

Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.

Ever since the Almighty God delivered the first tailoring job, the sartorial mantle has been passed on to Nigerian tailors. They have broken new ground in weaving thread through fabric creatively to the point that Nigerians are the best dressed people on the planet. These talented and inspired tailors go far beyond the prophylaxis of nakedness. They make every head turn when their clients walk into the room. This cotton fabric is typically bright coloured and comes alive as if made of vibranium once that afrobeat music starts. The music goes into the fabric and causes the wearer to move in the style of the ancestors. Our tailors have excelled in sewing Aso Ebi. They make about 300 million units a year and these ceremonial clothes are shipped worldwide to birthday parties, weddings and funerals worldwide.

Christmas period can be a problem as our tailors never refuse to take on jobs and they always promise that, ‘e go ready before Christmas eve’. (Classic over promising and under delivering). This is the only time our tailors and Politicians start to sound alike. Christmas and election factors respectively.

That no tailor has been shot for disappointing a client for Christmas is proof that the first tailor on Earth is on their side.

Once in a while, the ‘what I ordered and what I got’ differs by a country mile. Story for another day.

 

 

Alphabet Challenge U

U for Umbrellas that shield traditional rulers

For 500 years Kano has held yearly Durbars in which the largest parade of horse men in Africa are on display. Hawan Daushe is that part of the festivities when the Emir mounts his sensationally decorated horse and leaves the Palace to pay homage to the Queen Mother at her Palace. A large majestic umbrella is held high above him by someone whose job it is to protect him from the sun’s rays and also twirl the fascinating umbrella at breath taking speed. Music, an entourage of horsemen and acrobats make this one of the most spectacular displays in Nigeria.

The Europeans came with their Umbrellas when they first came to trade in the Southern parts of Nigeria. Soon, the rich and important people had umbrellas.

The invasion of Lagos on Boxing Day 1851 by the British started the long journey towards colonisation and the formation of Nigeria in 1914. The colonialist needed to protect themselves with Umbrellas and so it became a must have accessory for the powerful sons of the soil. The shade of trees was for the common people. The image of the Umbrella being a save place of refuge for everyone in Nigeria is a romantic idea and probably played a part in one of our main political parties adopting the Umbrella as a logo. It however appears that only a select few in Nigeria are protected from the harsh rays of Sapa. There is not enough room under the umbrellas for everyone.   

 

 

Alphabet Challenge V

 

V for the vaccines our children require

 

It’s a Jungle out there and everyone desires you for breakfast especially those biological wild animals; the bacteria and viruses. In war and peace, the capture of your foe’s arsenals for inspection is imperative. Spying is life sustaining. Once an enemy and his weapons are captured, the scientists pull them apart while the ‘gentlemen’ interrogate the captured officers.  The next battle goes differently, augmented by the new intelligence. Just looking at a foe for long hours gives competitive advantage. That detestable lethal weapon must be studied before wrestling out a victory. Medical establishments worldwide use the logo of the snake in the tree.

The Lord told Moses to make a serpent out of brass and attach it to a pole. When the people were bitten and looked at the brass serpent, the Lord saved them.

(I am not sure if Shayo guys desiring freedom from their vice would gain their cure by gazing at Hennessy).

Interestingly Greek juju Hermes hijacked the symbol and repackaged it as Caduceus

The children need help with seemingly invisible beasts. Just as an army would not seek to capture 50 thousand soldiers for interrogation, only a few bits of biological ingredients are needed for the babies to develop the required learning. They develop immunity without being overcome by a battalion of beasts. That is the duty of a generation to the next one. Protection, support and love. Making sure that the babies are not meeting the enemy for the first time during an invasion of a thousand beasts.

 

 

Alphabet Challenge W

 

W for the water the taps do not bring

 

 

Water no get enemy and everyone hates a drought. I recall that between 1982 and 1984 all my friends called things we didn’t particularly feel were up to an acceptable standard ‘dry’. There were dry jokes, dry parties and dry conversations. Things needed to flow. Gist, laughter, drinks and money had to be in motions (preferably in our direction). It was a slang that came and went but we all knew where it emanated from, hatred for dry taps.

We had a song in Sunnyfields Primary School

This is the way we wash out hands early in the morning.

The taps of Lagos all flowed in Lagos in the early seventies and rightly so if I may add. The name Lagos was coined by Portuguese who saw many bodies of fresh water in town. Lagos is Portuguese for Lakes. There is a Lagos in Portugal also. In Portugal’s Southwestern coast line the beautiful City of only about 32,000 people enjoy taps that flow and light switches that always work.

Nigeria, the Country, was named after the River Niger. Of Nigeria’s 36 states a few are also named after rivers namely Sokoto, Kaduna, Osun, Benue, Niger, Cross River, Rivers, Imo and Kogi which houses our main confluence at Lokoja. Kogi is the Hausa word for River.

Writing about all this water is making me thirsty. Our boarding houses in FGC Kaduna were named after the great Rivers of Africa and I was in Zambezi House.

I am as perplexed as you as to why all taps in Nigeria do not run freely. I don’t like the answer Bob Marley suggested in his song Rat Race about our abundant fresh water reserves.

 

 

 

 

Alphabet Challenge X

 

X is for Xylophone Fuji bands play as they sing

 

UNESCO says ‘Mount Fuji has inspired artists and poets for centuries’. Never a truer statement has been uttered bearing in mind the learned Gentlemen that have graced the courts of Nigerian Music. Of note are the two Barristers on the mic.

But let us go to the origin. Alhaji Sikiru Ayinde Barrister while transiting through a busy airport was captivated by a poster of Mount Fuji. At that moment he decided to name his brand of were music Fuji. He prospered and soon had a fierce rival Alhaji Kilington Ayinla giving him a run for his music.

But like a grand master in a shaolin movie the senior Barrister produced a Junior one to silence everyone. His mentee was Alhaji Ayinde Marshall Barrister (K1 De Ultimate of the Ade Ori Okin fame)

Fuji has gone from strength to strength introducing various instruments into the mix. But one thing sets Fuji apart. If you no get voice, you hide your face. You must be able to sing live and do so for hours.

The Fuji Collabo’s have tickled me no end.

Adewale Ayuba and Jazz man Olofin’s Raise the roof was great.  Pasuma Wonder and The Remedies’ was sensational in Jeaulosy. I was walking down the streets of Lagos State!

Abass Akande Obesere and Zlatan’s Egungun always has me in stitches

Egungun be careful, na express you dey go

(Nothing wey Japanese Juju no go see on top Mount Fuji)

 

 

Alphabet Challenge

Y is for Yellow, we love to bleach dark skin lighter

 

The imperfection that mars an object is called a flaw. There can be no flaw in an original piece of art because it was not drawn from a template. Everyone is born an original, but people look in the mirror and see flaws. They then go on to ponder for many months the origins of these flaws. There is always a gold standard, the so-called flawless ones. Self- improvement and aspiring to always look one’s best are worthy goals but to improve appearances, one must know where the current location is and where the destination lies. With personal appearance, the thin membrane that separates the need to look one’s best from body dysmorphic disorder is a difficult thing to unravel.

To over come the inertia of complacency one must have a dissatisfaction with where one is. On the other hand, too much dissatisfaction with where one is leads to depression. The dissatisfaction of human beings with how they look is a Billion Dollar industry. Most social medial platforms allow users to ‘filter out’ their own physical traits which don’t come up to standard (who sets standards?)

Fela Kuti had a song entitled Yellow Fever in which he lampooned the Nigerians with title deeds for acres of dark skin who conspire with chemical collaborators to get light skinned or die trying. The skin bleaching struggle continues today but the nomenclature has moved on. It is now called skin toning

 

 

 

 

 

Z is for Zebra crossings on roads in Abuja

A should have been for Abuja but the Area Boys stole the show. Perhaps I have saved the best for last. Not that Naija is rich on savings. There is always a loan past every international corner and Sapa on the local streets. The cars zoom past but the common man must cross the streets as there is hope on the other side.

12.12.1991 has a ring to it. (No bi juju bi dat?) This was the day that Lagos officially abdicated the throne for Abuja to sit on. The Capital City was born in time for Christmas, and wise men from the east flocked in.

A should have been for Aso Rock but the Area Boys stole the show. The dismantled the stage and stole the stole and sound systems too. Unlike Mount Fuji so many miles away, Aso Rock has no one naming their music after it. The 400 metre high lump of stone has so far inspired no one to do anything great.

Z could have been for Zuma Rock but the Zebras stole the show. These are dangerous equines that can kill with a kick. No one in Africa saddles a Zebra and rides it for good reason. It is safer for Zebras to saddle roads so that we can cross them. The stripes make them easily recognisable. The Old Lady of Italy understands this as do the Magpies of Newcastle. Noticeability on the roads as you cross is why the road got painted in the first place. May your eye sight not fail you when the white paint fades away.